When you know a drug test is coming, it can be easy to prepare for it just by laying off drugs for a while, maybe as part of a weeklong detox program. Sure, it can take longer if you’ve been a heavy weed or coke user, but you can always use a detox drink an hour or two before the test to get the rest of the way. What’s more, after a workplace test, you can usually feel pretty sure you won’t need to take another one soon, so you can return to your previous habits. As psychologist Tony Buon reportedly put it, drug testing just catches the stupid, because the experienced drug users know how to pass them.
Unfortunately, many employers and testing labs are starting to realize how ineffective their methods sometimes are. One technique they may use to try to catch people out is random drug testing (i.e., no need for reasonable suspicion) at little or no notice. You may be busy working one day when you get a tap on the shoulder and are told to report for a drug test.
In these circumstances, you have no time to prepare, so what can you do? Here’s a guide for how to pass an immediate drug test, or at least how to try.
The first step
The first step is to say a quick prayer to your chosen deity. You are going to need all the help you can get, and a little divine intervention will not go amiss.
Beforehand, you should have ordered a detox drink and stored it somewhere at work, such as in your desk or locker. If storage space is an issue, you probably went for the more compact detox pills. You may have ordered a detox mouthwash as well to protect against saliva drug tests. You’ll be glad you did all this, because it may save you from failing.
Delay, delay, delay!
If you’re being asked to take a urine drug test straight away, the first objective is to use whatever tricks, excuses, and manipulations you can to delay as long as possible. The worst thing you can do is give a urine sample straight away, but if you can buy yourself some more time, you’ll have a fighting chance of passing.
Use your detox drink as soon as possible
Take your detox drink or pills as soon as humanly possible without arousing suspicion. The sooner you use it, the sooner it can get to work. Most detox drinks usually recommend waiting at least an hour after using them, but do the best you can.
Make sure have at least one good pee before giving a sample
All your efforts will be fruitless unless you manage to pee at least once before your test. This is because it’s the only way to get toxins out of your bladder. It needs to be a good pee that completely empties your bladder as well, so no toxins are left inside. When you arrive at the testing point, you probably won’t feel like peeing straight away, but that’s okay. Just wait there and do it as soon as you feel able.
Now you know how to pass an immediate drug test, you’d better make sure you have everything you need.